Is there a being in this world
Who can inject me with a string of viral esteem?
Sometimes I can't get what I need from anyone but myself
But of course, I unwillingly betray myself
And refuse to provide it
Or maybe I don't have it in me
I can't really tell anymore

You know what's got me feeling this way

I could really use an encouraging word, just once
Instead of always being shot down

I bite my lip and fight back the tears, again
I might as well let loose and cry
You'll just turn your head anyway

What you choose not to see
Still hurts me

If you could only fathom how hard I try for you
How hard I try to amaze you
And how easy it is for you to amaze me

I can't think of anything anyone has ever said to me
That gauges more horrible than the acid you spit at me

If the one who loves you most
Is also the one who makes you feel the worst
Where is the common ground?
How does it level out?
Is this even fucking possible?

Your words, like venom, absorb into my heart
They're ruthless in ripping my ventricles apart
Yet when you see me cry you don't hesitate
To call me weak
Am I though, really?

Sometimes I wonder if it isn't actually the ones who never cry
Who are weak
Cowards too scared to face even themselves
I feel a revitalizing sense of strength
After I break down and cry
While you're still bursting at the seams
Tugging your shirt down to cover spots where leaks have busted free

Days like this start in tears and end in tears

And I'm wasting this expression of my feelings on you, aren't I?
Whether I spent 10 minutes on this
Or two whole years
You'd just read it, scoff and turn away